I Think, I Thunk: A part of multiple worlds

Hi! I am back, did you miss us? (You are my person, if you are reading it in the voice of Kim Kardashian). After being hit by the worst flu and being buried with corporate work, I finally crawled out of the imaginary dump and took some time to write this one. This could be so high level and not so funny, but hey! that's also how life is sometimes!!!

I was 28 years old when I recognized why my problems seemed like the biggest ones in the entire world. It used to feel like my world was being wrecked, there was a tsunami and an earthquake. I felt so much rage inside like a volcano and wanted to just keep asking 'Why me?'. I also used to think that when it pours, it rains for me and all the bad things come together (it did at one point of my life). Then... I began taking cognitive therapy and things started to fall into perspective.

There are many AHA! moments when you start hearing yourself speak in a controlled and directed way. One of those things for me was that there are multiple worlds. There is mine, yours, somebody else's and the actual one. We also have many subsets and intersections within our worlds (mathematics alert), we have one with our parents (the inner circle ha ha!), our imaginary world and more. All of these could intersect with each other or not, but it is MY world. Fun fact: When you say life, I always think of bubbles, no wonder I thought of the world as sets.

I also know that I am the most important person in MY world and I don't care if anyone tells me otherwise, but my world revolves around me, as it should.

Back in the day, I was also so in MY world that I stopped allowing myself to intersect with other worlds. I wanted to control everything that happens in that world, forgetting that I am in a universal set ('Butterfly effect'). There is a part in me that still does not like to give up that control (and... that's okay!). I am the biggest victim in my world, other world people don't seem to understand that (Aliens Duh..!). I was tired of all the imaginary shouting from the top of the terrace needing attention (there are other ways people display this need) which other worlds could not hear or understand the need. Everything would go to vacuum and space (You get the rest or should I throw in more analogy?)

The natural progression would be to recognize that I am not intersecting with other worlds as much as I should. But that's not true, totally untrue!! I engage with other people and I am friends with so many people, so naturally don't I intersect with their worlds? Yes and No. Yes, because I am part of their worlds and chose to be there; no, because I was so walled high and occupied in MY world that I was not actively or consciously engaging with their worlds. I intersect as part of the consequence and not intention.

When I realized this, it kind of altered my interactions with people (it did not change my interaction with myself - I am a cruel b**ch with self - WIP). When I say 'it', I want to tread carefully and say 'it' is me+me spending time AND money to work on myself. 

I am able to look more at what I want to take from their world to my world TO what I can give to their world so I intersect more with them (imagine two worlds coming closer as you start giving each other - The power of vulnerability). I am also able to draw boundaries and ask, 'I am unable to give you anything today but I need this from you today' (power of vulnerability). Also a learning that if I keep giving, I might start seeing that world as inferior to mine, and obviously my cup will be empty in no time.

There is less guilt when I consciously initiate give and take between the worlds I engage with. I am creating more resources for myself as I am intersecting intentionally with multiple worlds. I also feel empowered because I choose which world to engage with and not just a consequence. I recognize there is power in relationship labels like 'colleagues', acquaintance', 'friend' and 'best friend'. I feel like I understand the meaning of becoming 'one with the world' (yoga) now more than ever.

Why should I do this? A frequent question I ask myself. I think, when you look at a macro world POV, we want the macro world to be like our micro world. For example: I have a certain political inclination...so everyone should have that. This is what my religious beliefs are... so everyone should have the same. When there is opposition, it feels like the world is turning upside down, but what's actually happening is 'MY' world is turning upside down. There are also strains in the relationship when we try to make their world a subset of ours. The most common one I see and experience is when a daughter-in-law enters the home, she is immediately expected to make that 'her' home and 'her' world. In-laws place can only be an intersection and not a subset from the beginning of that relationship.

The moment we know, understand and accept that we live in many people's worlds and we can only intersect as much as possible. The subset has to be a natural progression towards the relationship - like my children will be my subset but I could be only an intersection in their world - AND this changes in various phases of life. The acceptance that there are different kinds of people in this whole world and THAT is okay becomes easier when we start looking micro up. It makes possible for lesser conflicts with macro because it buys you time and accommodates more perspectives. I don't have to relate with all of them and become a subset of all of those worlds (Can I ever? and that expectation is so harsh causing conflicts in today's world). But, I am able to find things in common and work on expanding that instead.

If you are reading this, you should know that my world has some intersection with your world and I am deeply grateful for your existence in THE world!